


The Sample

by marguerite_26



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M, Medical Kink, Season/Series 01, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-16
Updated: 2012-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-02 01:35:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marguerite_26/pseuds/marguerite_26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaius is worried about Arthur’s health, Arthur is concerned that Merlin isn’t doing his job and Merlin is wondering how he’ll survive this day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sample

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Watersports Comment fest](http://marguerite-26.livejournal.com/659940.html) and also as an early birthday gift to [](http://hermette.livejournal.com/profile)[**hermette**](http://hermette.livejournal.com/).
> 
> Thanks to [](http://shes-gone.livejournal.com/profile)[**shes_gone**](http://shes-gone.livejournal.com/) for the quick beta and kind words.

Merlin had only been Arthur’s manservant for a couple of months when Gaius pulled him aside one morning and handed him an empty phial.

He’d been trusting Merlin more and more -- much to Merlin’s shock, especially after the incident with Lady Morgana and the purgative (which Merlin swore had looked exactly like the sleeping draught Gaius always prepared for her). But whatever the reason, Gaius had been adding to Merlin’s duties at an alarming rate. That, paired with Arthur’s demands of his time -- who had need for twelve pairs of boots to be polished in a single night, anyway? – had Merlin run ragged and very short on sleep.

It was only reasonable that he ask Gaius to repeat the request.

“The prince came to me yesterday complaining of unusual pain in his lower back. It may be simply a muscle injury, but I saw no bruising. I’m concerned that it may be an infection of his kidneys.”

“Okay.” Merlin rolled the small, clear phial between his fingers. “So what is this for?”

Gaius raised his eyes to the heavens as though he had explained this twice already. Which, to be fair, might have been true. Merlin tried to blink himself awake.

“I would like to test a sample of his urine.”

“Oh,” Merlin said. “You just want him to pee in this?”

“Yes, Merlin.” Gaius spoke slowly, as he often did when talking medical jargon to Merlin. “I want him to _pee_ in it.”

“Can’t I just get you his chamber pot? That thing is nearly filled to the brim each morning. I have to wonder just how much wine he --”

“Merlin.” Gaius cut off his rambling. “It needs to be sterile. He has to evacuate directly into the phial and it needs to be corked immediately.

Merlin nodded. “Pee in the phial. Then cork it. Right.”

“Then bring it immediately to me.”

“Got it.”

“Oh.” Gaius turned, grabbing some cut cloths and the jug of clean, boiled water that he kept by his work desk. “He should wipe the tip of his penis beforehand to ensure there are no bacteria on the urethral opening prior to giving the sample.”

“Um.”

Gaius shook his head and piled everything in Merlin’s arms. “Go and come right back.” And before Merlin could ask any more questions, Gaius was leading him to the door. “For heaven’s sake, don’t go wandering about the castle with the prince’s urine in your pocket.”

 

Arthur didn’t even look up when Merlin entered and dumped his armful onto the main table of the prince’s chambers.

“You’re late,” Arthur snapped, his eyes still on the parchment in his hands.

“Yes, but Gaius --”

“I had to call a serving girl from the kitchens to bring me breakfast.”

“Sorry, Sire. You see Gaius --”

“Do you have any idea what it takes to be a manservant to a prince?”

“No, Sire. But you see--”

“That much has been obvious since day one.” Arthur rose from the table to stand directly before Merlin. His finger pointed to Merlin’s face and Merlin stumbled backwards. “You need to be taught discipline.”

“Sorry, Sire. But --”

“You need to be taught your _place_! You cannot interrupt me.”

Merlin waited a heartbeat, then when Arthur didn’t continue, asked, “Are you finished?”

Arthur scowled, but thought about it a moment and said, “Yes.”

“Good,” Merlin went on as though Arthur hadn’t said a word, “Gaius needs a sample.”

He held up the empty phial and, waving his hand at the jug and cloths, muttered as quickly as he could about ‘needing to clean up first.’ With a shrug and a smile he headed for the door, hoping that would be that.

“I’ll be back in a minute to -- er-- collect it.” He began to close the door behind him.

“Merlin!”

Merlin took a deep breath and swung the door open enough to peek his head through. “Yes, Sire?”

“What on earth were you yammering on about?”

With a sigh, Merlin stepped back into the room. Nothing could ever be so easy when it came to Arthur.

He walked back over to the table and began again. “Gaius wants a _sample_.” He held out the phial to Arthur.

Arthur looked between Merlin and the phial, like he was unimpressed with that explanation.

Merlin huffed and gritted out, “Of your _pee_.” Face hot, he pointed to Arthur’s groin as though further direction was necessary.

There was an unmistakable twitch to Arthur’s lips, but Merlin wasn’t sure what to make of it so he went on. “You are to …” He motioned to the rags and jug of sterile water. “He wants you to clean...”

“Yes?” There was a definite amusement in Arthur’s tone now.

Merlin lifted his eyes to the ceiling and wished he knew all the fancy medical terms to hide behind. Finally, he blurted out, “You’re to wash the head of your penis before you _urinate_.”

Arthur looked between the phial and Merlin, eyebrows raised.

“And cork it right away,” Merlin said, backing up towards the door. “It can’t get contaminated.”

When Merlin’s heel hit the wood of the door, Arthur said, “And where exactly do you think you’re going?”

“You’ll want your privacy.” Merlin bowed. He wasn’t sure the gesture was appropriate for the moment, but he wanted to smooth his escape. As his fingers closed on the handle he added a hurried, “Sire.”

Arthur shook his head and Merlin’s stomach flipped over at the look in his eyes, like a cat that just caught a mouse he had no intention of letting go. “Come back here, Merlin.”

“Sire?” Merlin croaked, not stepping back into the room.

“I won’t be needing privacy.”

“Oh.” The odd lilt of mirth in Arthur’s voice made Merlin regret not following through on his original plan to pee in the phial himself, just to avoid all this.

“This makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it?” Arthur stepped forward. “If you’re to be a physician’s assistant you’ll need to get used to this sort of thing.”

“I -- yes, I guess.”

“Excellent.” Arthur handed Merlin back the phial. “You can start now.”

Merlin looked at the phial, frowning, unsure if Arthur was _refusing_ to give a sample. But when he looked back, Arthur face was alight with mischief. A cold sweat broke out at Merlin’s nape.

“I’ll be needing your help, naturally.”

“No.” Merlin shook his head. “no, no, _no_.”

Arthur’s eyes went over-wide as he nodded. “Oh, yes.” He slipped behind the privacy screen. “And lock the door, Merlin. We don’t want someone walking in and getting the wrong idea.”

Merlin’s face flamed as his mind provided a few images and he turned the lock without comment. Picking up the cloths and jug, he joined Arthur behind the screen.

It was cramped back there, but it made sense, Merlin supposed, to do this by the chamber pot. He set down the items on the stool and looked to Arthur, unsure what to do next.

“Well?” Arthur said, his arms crossing over his chest.

“Well -- um -- what?”

“Merlin, how are you so completely useless? Someday you many need to help someone who is unable to do this for themselves.”

Merlin gaped. “That day is _not_ today,” he squeaked, incredulous.

Arthur just let a slow smirk slide across his face. “Consider this practice.”

“No.”

“ _Merlin_ ,” Arthur said again, the name getting progressively more mocking each time he said it. “I prepare my knights for the inevitable battle by having them fight with men who wish them no harm. You create 'safe' situations. That is how you get good at something.”

"And you expect me to consider you a safe person to learn with?"

Arthur grinned, all teeth. “It’ll be an excellent learning opportunity.”

“Do you mean to tell me that you want me to --” Merlin’s eyes flickered to Arthur’s breeches. “You want me to believe that you are making me do this for a reason other than just because you are an utter prat?” Merlin gritted out the last bit through clenched teeth.

Arthur’s eyes flashed. “I could put you in the stocks and have you collect the sample with your mouth?”

“You’re disgusting.” Merlin coughed to cover his gag. "Also I don’t think that’s sterile and it would ruin the sample.”

Arthur put his hands on his hips, looking less and less amused by the moment.

“Fine,” Merlin huffed. Not like he had much choice about it anyway.

After a moment of nothing happening, Arthur said, “My laces aren’t going to undo themselves.”

Well they could, Merlin thought a little hysterically, but that would likely cost him his head.

He knelt to undo the laces. It wasn’t the first time; when Arthur was drunk after a banquet or just too exhausted from a tournament, Merlin would take care of readying a barely conscious Arthur for bed. But this was different. Now Arthur was staring at him as he fumbled the knot and tried not to touch the bulge beneath his knuckles. Once the laces were loosened, Merlin dropped his eyes to the floor and lowered both Arthur’s breeches and smalls down his thigh.

Arthur widened his stance to keep them from slipping further.

Merlin turned awkwardly, avoiding looking anywhere north of Arthur’s knees. He carefully tipped the jug of water to wet a piece of cloth. He froze, staring at the soft blond hair of Arthur’s thigh and realized there was no getting through this _not looking_.

He finally let his eyes fall to Arthur’s groin. Arthur's cock hung in a nest of dark blond curls, with a tight sack tucked beneath. It wasn’t stiff, but it was thick and plump enough that it arched out and away from Arthur’s body. As Merlin watched, it twitched and seemed to be getting fuller by the moment.

“Merlin!” Arthur snapped, ripping Merlin from his meandering thoughts.

“Sorry.” Merlin coughed and considered how best to get this part done.

He leaned towards Arthur and tried to lightly dab the tip of Arthur’s cock with the cloth but it was awkward. Arthur's cock twitched, and the head grazed Merlin’s thumb. Merlin jumped back, nerves shot.

“You’ll be the death of every patient under your care,” Arthur said, his voice cracking and far from teasing.

“Sorry,” Merlin said again and this time he held Arthur’s cock between his index finger and his thumb, just below the flare of the head. With his other hand he raised the wet cloth and wiped the slit.

Arthur’s breath caught and Merlin stopped.

“Are you hurt?”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, exasperated. He could feel Arthur’s cock thickening between his fingers. “Just get on with this or it won’t be piss filling that bottle.”

Merlin quickly wiped again, just to be sure. His brain hadn’t quite processed Arthur’s words until he saw the dick in his hand was nearly fully hard now. God. A sudden rush of heat crept up his neck, across his chest and down to his fingertips. His gaze flickered up to Arthur who stared back, his hands still on his hips and his face unreadable but for the stain of pink on his cheeks. Merlin was suddenly very aware that he was kneeling with his face inches from the prince’s hard cock.

He let go of Arthur’s cock and scrambled to his feet. He grabbed the empty phial and offered it to Arthur, praying he’d had a change of heart.

Arthur just shook his head. “You started this; see it through, Merlin.”

Resigned, Merlin manoeuvred himself in the tight space behind Arthur and angled him so he stood directly before the chamber pot. He knew well enough it wasn't easy to take a proper piss with a hard cock and manage to not miss the pot a time or two. Trying to get the piss into the narrow opening of the phial was going to be messy.

“Okay,” he whispered, only realizing he was breathing the word into Arthur’s neck when Arthur shivered. He reached around and took a firm grip of Arthur’s cock and angled it down the best he could. He placed the phial in the general direction that he hoped he was aiming and he waited.

Nothing happened for a moment; Merlin thought maybe Arthur was the sort who couldn’t pee if someone was watching. Will was like that, always having to find a tree well out of earshot. But then suddenly there was a hot splash on Merlin's fingers. The piss hit the glass neck and spatter up Merlin’s wrist. It took a second to adjust but Merlin managed to redirect the stream to fill the phial. It overflowed quickly, adding to the mess.

With one hand, he held the warm, slippery phial in his dripping fingers and with the other hand he continued to hold Arthur’s cock as Arthur emptied the rest of the contents of his bladder into the chamber pot. The echoing sound of the piss hitting the empty pot was loud in the quiet room. Merlin shifted, becoming aware that his own cock was full as it brushed against Arthur’s arse. He swallowed thickly, pressing his nose to Arthur’s shoulder in an effort to stop an instinctive roll of his hips. Except he couldn't stop looking; he had to focus on aiming, which meant staring, no matter how much he wanted to look away just to cool his cheeks. This should not be erotic. It was piss. _Arthur's_ piss. Only Arthur was hard and in his hand and there was no way this _wasn't_ erotic.

The stream slowed to a trickle and finally the room was silent. A few beads of urine gathered at the tip, clinging until Merlin shook off the last drops like he would his own. Merlin was still holding on. He felt the moment pass were he should have let go, but the weight of Arthur’s shaft between his fingers made him dizzy with something that wasn’t either nerves or humiliation. As the moment grew too long, just tipping into awkward, Arthur turned his head enough so his cheek brushed Merlin’s temple. Merlin thought he’d say something mortifying but instead he just... breathed. Then his hand pressed against the back of Merlin’s, light enough to ignore, but the weight of it was enough to urge Merlin’s fingers into a tighter grip. An invitation.

Merlin could walk away now, task done. His hand still dripped with the spilled urine, the phial full and cooling, over-flowing as his hand trembled. But his cock throbbed at the memory of that first hot splash and he wrapped his fingers around Arthur’s cock without hesitation.

Arthur’s eyes fell shut. His face, which had been unreadable, morphed into something desperate and Merlin knew he’d made the right choice.

He held Arthur’s cock with a confidence he didn’t feel and slid down the shaft, tentative -- inch by inch, testing Arthur’s reaction. When Arthur’s hips jerked in encouragement, he pulled again, up then down and back up again. His heart thudded as he watched the tip poking in and out of his palm. He pumped faster, tightening his grip as he grew bold. A flare of pride swirled in Merlin’s chest as Arthur came apart in his hand. The soft sound of his name slipped from Arthur’s lips like no words Arthur had ever spoken to him. Merlin’s breath hitched.

This was insane. He barely knew Arthur; Arthur certainly didn’t know him. They’d danced around each other, bristling at being forced to work together, and only slowly melting into a bit of understanding, the sharp edge of their jibes softening as the weeks grew to months. But this, this felt like a culmination of all that posturing and tension turned to something new.

Merlin’s thumb circled the tip, flicking at the slit. Arthur moaned. It was possible they had found something that Merlin was actually good at, besides magic and lying.

He was hard, aching to touch himself, but he couldn’t. He still held the phial though he couldn’t keep his hand steady; with every tug of Arthur’s cock, piss sloshed onto Merlin’s hand, then in the pot or on the floor. He could only press his cock to Arthur’s arse and thrill at the friction that came from every roll of Arthur’s hips. But he was careful to be discreet. Merlin could only guess what the punishment was for rubbing one off on the prince without invitation. Instead, he pumped long, fast strokes, making Arthur thrust back and forth in counterpoint.

Arthur’s knees buckled. He reached back, clutching to Merlin’s thigh, trying to stay upright. “Merlin,” Arthur said with a shocked gasp.

For all the world, Merlin needed to hear that again. He stopped just long enough to spit in his palm and found his rhythm again.

“Shit.” Arthur cried, a long drawn out curse that sounded like a beg for mercy.

Merlin gave none, high now on this vulnerable, needy man who’d been so cocky only a few minutes before. He stopped rocking against Arthur, afraid to come in his breeches and ruin this. Instead, he focused on quickening his strokes, whispering encouragements in Arthur’s ear.

Arthur cried out, bucking into Merlin’s hand and hitting the privacy screen with two long stripes of thick come. Merlin held him, tugging gently at his leaking cock as he spilt the last of his orgasm onto Merlin’s hand.

Arthur only took a moment to catch his breath before he turned, and they were suddenly nose to nose. Merlin blinked, wide-eyed and pinned to the wall. He was helpless, both hands filthy. Arthur laughed at his panic and caught Merlin’s lips in a kiss. "You are going to be the death of me, aren’t you?" Without even loosening the laces, he shoved his hand down Merlin’s breeches.

Merlin’s breath caught as calloused hands wrapped around his cock.

"What am I going to do with you, Merlin?" Arthur whispered between kisses. "You and those innocent eyes and those talented hands."

In a half-dozen rough pulls, Merlin was trembling in Arthur’s hold. His head fell to Arthur’s shoulder. The ‘Sire,’ came out like a moan.

Arthur hummed, whispering, “I think that’s the first time you’ve said an honorific that didn’t sound like you were spitting out sour wine.”

Merlin laughed, just a breath against Arthur’s neck. He was still boneless, too mellow to quip. It was a little annoying that Arthur wasn’t.

“I need to get that sample to Gaius,” Merlin said at last. The mess in his pants was already going tacky.

“Yes. And I need to get to the practice field. You’ve made me very late,” Arthur said, but he sounded very pleased at the thought.

Merlin shook the phial in his hand, watching the slosh of the small amount of pale yellow liquid inside. “Sire?” He bit his lip, thinking of the taste of Arthur’s lips. “Quite a bit spilt while we were... while I was distracted. This might not be enough.”

“Oh?” Arthur stopped tying up his laces to look at Merlin’s sly smile before adding, “So you might need another?”

“It’s possible. I’ll need to check with Gaius.”

“Well, you _are_ completely incompetent. So anything is possible.” Arthur’s face was flushed, his voice attempting to be stiff, but it was a mockery of his condescending tone from earlier.

Merlin set down the phial to wash his hands. “If I did need another, I suppose it would just be more practice. And I do need the practice." Merlin’s smile broadened as he caught Arthur's eye. "You said so yourself.”

“No question.” Arthur moved to the door and turned. ”We can try again tonight, if needs must.”

Merlin watched Arthur stop and school the smile from his face before rushing out the door to face his knights.

Once his hands were clean, Merlin lifted the phial to cork it and thought better of it. He poured the few drops remaining out into the chamber pot.

They should really try again.

Gaius would understand. Proper sample taking was worth the effort to get it right.

**Author's Note:**

> [Link back to livejournal post](http://marguerite-26.livejournal.com/661453.html)


End file.
